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They see my delight in swiping, an activity most of them find boring or even disheartening at this point, as refreshing.
But I've never actually been on a dating app as myself, a black woman. Yes, online dating seems fun from where I'm standing, but I think doing it as a woman of color would damage my faith in humanity.
"As a black woman who works in tech and sports, I'm pretty used to being in environments where being non-white isn't exactly considered an asset.
I'm sure the dating world online isn't any different," she says, citing how when she made a Bumble app for a similarly pretty white friend, her friend was "inundated" with way more matches than Sarah had gotten on the app.
Of course, women of all races have to deal with BS online. But women of color lack that extra race-based privilege, which can cause some mind-bogglingly stupid reactions from people in the online dating world."As a plus-size black woman attempting to find a suitable mate or at least a date, the results can be pretty sad," Christian S., 30, a Dallas, Texas-based fitness blogger and the creator of The Plush Cyclist, tells SELF.
But it's never felt intentional," she explains.
"All I want is to date a respectable, professional man of any color who loves me with all my chocolate skin and rolls.
What bothers me the most is the fact that I'm not given a chance."Research on the subject highlights one unfortunate fact: Black women are the lowest on the online-dating totem pole.
An incredible clip from April of this year tackled this issue, branding it "sexual racism." Note: This is way different from having preferences.
It's about ruling out entire groups of people because of stereotypes or because you think there's no way you could be attracted to them.
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Maya, based in New York City, works in the racial and economic justice spheres, specifically when it comes to gentrification.