Single fathers and dating
Of course my apartment is much cleaner—because I only have to account for me. I recognize I have some control freak tendencies, relationships included.A lot of life is outside our control and dating someone with a child is a very effective reminder that no matter what, we can't always call the shots. As such, I waited until my boyfriend thought it would be OK to introduce me to his kid.I used to let envy blind me badly in the past—even if a boyfriend managed to remain congenial with an ex, the whole bond made me feel rattled as hell.Now that I'm with a person who's ex will be around in a close way forever and ever amen, I have to be OK with that. We can't let ourselves feel threatened for no viable reason.
I've dated ("dated") divorced dudes before, which might be a little similar, but this relationship marks my first with a parent.Since single dads still have to, you know, fund their child, there isn't always a ton of extra dough to fund flippant outings to fancy cocktail bars or jump onto tubing trips you didn't even want to attend in the first place. " And in a more serious sense, it forces you to dissect immature impulses.It inspires you to be more mindful of your own spending habits. Like when you're running late to meet a friend because you're stuck in a child-stuffed lantern parade one town over, you're not allowed to bitch and force your S. to help you summon an Uber to pick you up, STAT—because he's too busy pushing the kid on a skateboard inside the festivities to indulge your princess agenda.Matters are so peachy that she even shared me on a Google Calendar she, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend share re: who has chief parenting duties when (it's half-and-half, really).This kind of amazing camaraderie made me really look at past relationships I'd previously kept duct-taped in a box and tossed the way-back part of the closet.
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I'd like to say this exercise made me resurrect toxic romantic relationships as healthy friendships, but that hasn't quite happened yet (and with some specific ones, I honestly can't see that ever happening).